I'll never capitalize cancer

I have alot going on in my life, more than just cancer and chemo. Sure it's a big part of my life right now, but it's not the most important part of my life. You will never see me spell it with a capital "c".

I'm a Wife and Mom. I love my Family. I have good Friends. We do fun stuff and dumb stuff and sometimes we argue and then we laugh again. We go to work and to the grocery store and we go swimming and have birthday parties and get ready for the first day of school.

I keep saying that I don't want ovarian cancer to define me, but sometimes I just can't help it.

A good friend put it this way for me "cancer may be defining your life for the moment, but it is not your entire life. You seem to just make time for it." That made me feel better.

If you want to see it from the beginning, my cancer story begins in March.

The rest of my story is happening now.

Monday, March 23, 2009

My first appointment at MD Anderson Cancer Center

I want to write something, I just don't know what or how much.

The OCD part of me wants to write a perfect little story, but that perfection has me stifled. I think I will just enter my observations. Like how this is all so surreal. This place is HUGE. And everyone has a story. Like when you tell your Hurricane story - Where were you when the storm came in? Did you evacuate? Did you have any storm damage? We're all the same. No one really is unique, we all are trying to figure out if we have cancer and what are we going to do about it. But then again we are unique - different cancers different stages.

I'm drinking Barium again.

Now this is weird. I am here in the Imaging waiting room, and there are all these people sitting around sipping on their little bottles of Barium through a straw.

Telling their story - I'm from Ft Worth... We drove in from Cinncinnati... This is our third visit... I've been coming for 18 months... Breast... Kidney... Lungs... We love to travel, last month we went to Italy, I think it will be our last time.